Blonde Jokes

TigersGirl wrote:

I like the first one on that page.... It looks f course then I probably wouldn't live long enough for anyone to see it....

Probably not. I like the one below mohawk dude. Pink with blue ends... I'd have my family convinced that I've really lost it.

I've already convinced my family of that. lol. When I was calling my friends trying to convince them that i was my friend Jimmy's sister.... yah, that was interesting.

I've wanted blue streaks for a long time but I'm kinda afraid of what parent-teacher conferences will turn into

I would put blue streaks in my hair... that would actually not look bad.

SoulRat wrote:

I've wanted blue streaks for a long time but I'm kinda afraid of what parent-teacher conferences will turn into

SoulRat wrote:

I've wanted blue streaks for a long time but I'm kinda afraid of what parent-teacher conferences will turn into

Wear a hat. Or wear like a scarf-type thing and tell people you have cancer or something

catbox_9 wrote:

SoulRat wrote:

I've wanted blue streaks for a long time but I'm kinda afraid of what parent-teacher conferences will turn into

Wear a hat. Or wear like a scarf-type thing and tell people you have cancer or something

Or she could pull a full Louise (from Thelma and Louise)... wear a scarf over her head and big sunglasses.

I could

If you play the "I'm dying" card your kids will get A's

And you just have to have miraculous recoveries right after that until the next conference when you're about to die again.

Bubbles and Barbie, two blonde sisters had promised their Uncle, who had been a seafaring gentleman all his life, to bury him at sea when he died.
Of course, in due time, he did pass away and the two blondes kept their promise.

They set off from Clearwater Beach with their uncle all stitched up in a burial bag and loaded onto their rowboat.

After a while Bubbles says, 'Do you think we're out far enough, Barbie?' Barbie slipped over the side and finding the water only knee deep said, 'nope, not yet Bubbles'.

So they row a little farther.... Again Bubbles asks Barbie, 'Do you think were out far enough now? Once again Barbie slips over the side and almost immediately says, 'No, this will never do, the water is only up to my chest.

'So on they row and row and row, and finally Barbie slips over the side and disappears. Quite a bit of time goes by and poor Bubbles is really getting worried when suddenly Barbie breaks the surface, gasping for breath she says, 'OK, it's finally deep enough. Hand me the shovel.'

that one was funny.

Thats not funny...

Its only cuz ur blonde...

Yah, and that sounds like something I would do. lol.

I've been told jokes by my dad, and everyone laughes, but I don't understand it until about an hour later.

And now, you know why blondes are, well... blondes.

yah... I'm not usually blonde...

Your right, your ALWAYS blonde

lol

haha. But blondes have soooo much more fun!

I dont really care, I mean, blomde is my natural hair color if that counts as anything.

haha. Like, everyone in my family was blonde at some point. The only 2 that are still blonde are me and my brother. And for some reason people think we look a lot a like...

HAH! My brother and I look nothing alike, (thank god) and were twins.

haha.
My brother is 2 years older than me.... And people are like oh you guys look so much a like... i'm like... umm, right.

Mandy was talking to God and she asked "God please let me win the lotto, because im about to lose my car."
About a month goes by and Mandy talks to God again.

"God please let me win the lotto. I have lost my car and im about to lose my job."

About 2 months goes by and there is no reply. So Mandy asks God again.

"God please let me win the lotto. I have lost my car my job and im about to lose my house."

About 3 months goes by and no reply so Mandy talks to God again.

"God please let me win the lotto. I have lost my job, my car and my house and I'm about to lose kids."

About 4 months goes by and Mandy talks to God again.

"God I have lost my job my house my car and my kids please!!!!! Let me win the lotto."

God answers, "Mandy, buy a ticket!"

TigersGirl wrote:

haha.
My brother is 2 years older than me.... And people are like oh you guys look so much a like... i'm like... umm, right.

I don't know, my brother is a year and two months older than me (well two days shy of two months actually :haha:) and when we were younger we looked almost identical.

A bartender is sitting behind the bar on a typical day, when the door bursts open and in come four exuberant blondes. They come up to the bar, order five bottles of champagne and ten glasses, take their order over and sit down at a large table. The corks are popped, the glasses are filled and they begin toasting and chanting, "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!" Soon, three more blondes arrive, take up their drinks and the chanting grows. "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!" Two more blondes show up and soon their voices are joined in raising the roof. "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!" Finally, the tenth blonde comes in with a picture under her arm. She walks over to the table, sets the picture in the middle and the table erupts even more loudly in chant. Up jump the others, they begin dancing around the table, exchanging high-fives, all the while chanting, "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!" The bartender can't contain his curiosity any longer, so he walks over to the table. There in the center is a beautifully framed child's puzzle of the Cookie Monster. When the frenzy dies down a little bit, the bartender asks one of the blondes, "What's all the chanting and celebration about?"
The blonde who brought in the picture pipes in, "Everyone thinks that blondes are dumb and they make fun of us. So, we decided to set the record straight. Ten of us got together, bought that puzzle and put it together.
The side of the box said 2-4 years, but we put it together in just 51days!"

Three women are about to be executed by the armed soldiers. One's a brunette, one's a red-head, and one's a blonde. Two guards brings the brunette forward,the soldiers point the guns at her and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Onee . . .Twoo...."

Suddenly the brunette yells, "earthquake!!"

Everyone is startled and looks around. So she manages to escape.

The angry guards then bring the redhead forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Onee . . .Twoo...."

The redhead then screams, "tornado!!"

Yet again, everyone is startled and looks around. She too escapes execution.

By this point, the blonde had figured out what the others did. The guards bring her forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She also says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Onee . . .Twoo...."

The blonde shouts, "fire!!"

FIRE!!!!!!

A blonde gets home early from shopping and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. She rushes upstairs to find her husband naked on the bed, sweating and panting.
'What's up?' she asks.

'I'm having a heart attack,' cries the husband. The blonde rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as she's dialing, her four-year-old son comes up and says, 'Mommy! Mommy! Aunt Shirley is hiding in your closet, and she's got no clothes on!'

The blonde slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, right past her husband, and rips open the closet door.

Sure enough, there is her sister unclothed and cowering on the closet floor. 'You rotten 'witch', she screams.

'My husband's having a heart attack and you're running around the house with no clothes on scaring the kids!'