Blonde Jokes

I'm suprised it took THIS long for thread to get started! LOL Ok...here's my 1st contribution...and trust me...I have pleanty!

Two blonde girls were working for the city public works department. One
would dig a hole and the other would
follow behind her and fill the hole in.

They worked up one side of the street, then down the other, then moved
on to
the next street, working furiously all day without rest, one girl digging a
hole, the other girl filling it in again.
An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn't understand
what they were doing. So he asked the hole digger, "I'm impressed by the
effort you two are putting into your work, but I don't get it -- why do you
dig a hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it up again?"
The hole digger wiped her brow and sighed, "Well, I suppose it probably
looks odd because we're normally a three-person team. But today the girl
who plants the trees called in sick .........

What do you call an intelligent Blonde?

A Golden Retriever!

A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and says "her body hurts, wherever she touches it.



"Impossible!", says the doctor. "Show me."



The redhead takes her finger, pushes on her left breast, and screams, then she pushes her elbow, and screams in even more agony. She pushes her knee and screams, then she pushes on her thigh, and more screaming. Pushes her ankle, more screams, and everywhere she touches, makes her scream.



Doctor says, "you're not really a redhead are you?"



"Well, no" she says, "I'm actually a blonde."



"I thought so", the doctor says. "Your finger is broken."

A smart Blonde, a Dumb Blonde, and Santa Clause are walking down the street together and they notice a $50 bill laying on the ground. Who Picks it up?

The Dumb Blonde....the other 2 don't exist!

what......??

Those are great!

tigersaint wrote:

what......??

Santa Clause...Not Santa PAWS, Saint.....We all Know Santa Paws exist! lol

I urgently needed a few days off work, but I knew the boss
would not allow me to take a leave. I thought that maybe if I acted
"CRAZY" then he would tell me to take a few days off. So I hung upside
down on the ceiling and made funny noises. My co-worker (who's blonde)
asked me what I was doing? I told her that I was pretending to be a
light bulb so that the Boss would think I was "CRAZY" and give me a few days off.
A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked "What are
you doing?" I told him I was a light bulb. He said "You are clearly
stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days". I jumped down and walked out of the office. When my co-worker (the blonde) followed me, the Boss asked her "...And where do you think you're going?"

( You're gonna love this..... )

She said, "I'm going home too, I can't work in the dark!"

Ohios#1TigerFan wrote:

I urgently needed a few days off work, but I knew the boss
would not allow me to take a leave. I thought that maybe if I acted
"CRAZY" then he would tell me to take a few days off. So I hung upside
down on the ceiling and made funny noises. My co-worker (who's blonde)
asked me what I was doing? I told her that I was pretending to be a
light bulb so that the Boss would think I was "CRAZY" and give me a few days off.
A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked "What are
you doing?" I told him I was a light bulb. He said "You are clearly
stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days". I jumped down and walked out of the office. When my co-worker (the blonde) followed me, the Boss asked her "...And where do you think you're going?"

( You're gonna love this..... )

She said, "I'm going home too, I can't work in the dark!"

Ohios#1TigerFan wrote:

tigersaint wrote:

what......??

Santa Clause...Not Santa PAWS, Saint.....We all Know Santa Paws exist! lol

I was gonna say......

A blonde's car gets a flat tire on the Interstate
one day, so she eases it over onto the shoulder
of the road.

She carefully steps out of the car and opens the
trunk.

She takes out two cardboard men, unfolds them and
stands them at the rear of the vehicle facing
oncoming traffic.

The lifelike cardboard men are in trench coats
exposing their nude bodies to approaching
drivers...

Not surprisingly, the traffic became snarled and
backed up.

It wasn't very long before a police car arrives.
The Officer, clearly enraged, approaches the
blonde of the disabled vehicle yelling,

"What is going on here?"

"My car broke down, Officer", says the woman,
calmly.

"Well, what are these obscene cardboard
pictures doing here by the road"?!, asks the Officer..

"Oh, those are my emergency flashers", she replied.

A blonde phones the fire brigade and says

'Can you please come quick, my house is on fire and will be demolished if you don't save it!'

The fireman asks

"How do we get there?"
" Hellllooooo!!! ", the blonde replies, "in the fu ing big red truck!"

in her defense he should have said "what are the 2 major crossroads?"

prod wrote:

in her defense he should have said "what are the 2 major crossroads?"

What? And confuse her even More????

tigersaint wrote:

Ohios#1TigerFan wrote:

tigersaint wrote:

what......??

Santa Clause...Not Santa PAWS, Saint.....We all Know Santa Paws exist! lol

I was gonna say......

Here's the proof!!

Ohios#1TigerFan wrote:

prod wrote:

in her defense he should have said "what are the 2 major crossroads?"

What? And confuse her even More????

More Blonde jokes please.....

I have a few. here is one

There were these 2 blondes standing outside in a parking lot next to there Mercadies vehicle.They were locked out so they were trying to get the door open with a close hanger. The 1st blonde said," You need to try harder. It's starting to rain and the top is down!"

I love Blond jokes.

In a bathroom in New York somewhere, if you tell a lie you disapear. A Brunette walks into the bathroom. "I am the Hottest girl in New York!" POOF she disappeared. A red headed girl walks into the bathroom. "I am the smartest girl in New York!!" POOF she disappeared. A blonde walks in the bathroom. "I Think..." POOF she disappears.

A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Hey! Wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bar immediately becomes absolutely
quiet. In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something."

"The bartender is blond, the bouncer is blond, and I'm a 6' tall, 200 pound blond with a black belt in karate. What's more, the guy sitting next to me is 6'2," weighs 225 pounds, and he's a blond weight lifter." He continues, "The fella to your right is blond, 6'5" and pushing 300 pounds, and he's a wrestler. Think about it seriously, Mister. You still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind guy says, "Nah! Not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times.

One day a blond came home from work and sat on her front steps, sobbing.

Her next door neighbor, whose name was Julie, went over to see what was

wrong. She said, "My mom died today waahhhhhh-hhhhaaaahhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!"

Julie invited her over for coffee untill she felt better. When she did

actually stop crying, she left and went to work the next morning. When

she came home she was sobbing... again. Julie went to see what was wrong...

again. And the blond said, "I called my sister (who was also blond)

today and she said that her mom died TOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Wahhhhhhhh!!!

These Blond jokes are all great.

I used to be married to a blonde joke.....

A blonde in financial trouble decided to raise money by kidnapping a child.
She went to a park, grabbed a little boy, took him behind a tree, and wrote this note: "I kidnapped your child. I'm sorry, but I need the money. Leave $10,000 in a plain brown bag behind the statue in the park by 7 a.m.. Signed, A Blonde."

She pinned the note inside the little boy's jacket and told him to go straight home.

The next morning, she returned to the park, and found a brown bag behind the statue with $10,000 in it.

Inside the bag, beside the cash, was another note: "Here's your money. I can't believe that one blonde would do this to another!"

As a trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers the window, and she says "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load." The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street.
When the truck stops for another red light, the girl catches up again. She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door. Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they've never spoken, the blonde says brightly, "Hi my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!"

Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the street. At the third red light, the same thing happens again. All out of breath, the blonde gets out of her car, runs up, knocks on the truck door. The trucker rolls down the window. Again she says "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!"

When the light turns green the trucker revs up and races to the next light. When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truc k, and runs back to the blonde. He knocks on her window, and after she lowers it, he says... "Hi, my name is Kevin, it's winter in Michigan and I'm driving the SALT TRUCK!"