Getting back at the ladies for their Male bashing! LOL

This is all in fun ladies...you know we love ya!

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.
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Why is a laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
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Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
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How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me .."
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How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
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Why do men pass gas more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
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What's worse than a male chauvinist pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told.
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I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
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Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
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Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
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Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
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In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

"I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always."

And don't forget it!!

Those are much better than the other jokes!

They're more accurate, too!

Finally, some GOOD "bashing" material.

....and SOOO true!!

I've passed Hank Aaron!!

I'm Aaronian!! Next is Bondsian*

Q. Why did God give men penises ?

A. So we'd have at least one way to shut a woman up.

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Q. Did you hear about the guy who finally figured out women ?

A. He died laughing before he could tell anybody.

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Q. What's the difference between a woman with PMS and a pitbull ?

A. Lipstick.

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Q. Why do women close their eyes during sex ?

A. They can't stand seeing a man have a good time.

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Q. What's six inches long and two inches wide and drives women wild?

A. Money.

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Q. Why are hurricanes normally named after women ?

A. When they come they're wild and wet, but when they go they take

your house and car with them.

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Q. What's the difference between your wife and your job ?

A. After 5 years your job will still suck.

I don't care who u r this shtz funny.

Where you been, girl??