Sports Related Jokes

What do Billy Grahm and Todd Jones have in common?


They can both get 40,000 people to stand up and yell "Jesus Christ"!

Where is the safest place to be in the event of a Tornado?

Cleveland Browns Stadium...there's NEVER a touchdown there!

How do you keep an Arizona Cardinal out of your yard?

Put up a goalpost!

Those are good! Feel free to post in the OSU joke thread!

TODD JONES RULES! HE IS THE GREATEST RELIEF PITCHER EVER!

Just Kidding

gs78 wrote:

TODD JONES RULES! HE IS THE GREATEST RELIEF PITCHER EVER!

LOL!! This joke thread is the perfect place for that!

Seriously though, he could be worse...Closers are vastly overrated anyways. I mean look at Joe Borowski, ERA over 5 and his save conversion % is only slightly lower than the best of closers. Hell, you could put a high school pitcher in there and they'd probably get the job done 70% of the time...

High School Pitcher! LOL! Yeah! I agree with you Catbox!

Can't wait until Zumaya is the closer

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/51526?utm_source=EMTF_Onion

HILARIOUS!! LOL!!

This guy walks into a bar wearing a Browns jersey and carrying a little
wiener dog that also has a Browns jersey on with a little Browns helmet
too.
The guy says to the bartender,

"Can my dog and I watch the Browns game here? My TV at home broke and
my dog and I want to see the game."

The bartender replies,

"Normally, dogs in the bar would not be allowed, but it is not terribly
busy in here, so you and the dog can have a seat at the end of the bar.
But, if there is any trouble with you or the dog, I'll have to ask you
to leave."

The guy agrees and he and his dog start watching the game. Pretty soon
the Browns kick a field goal and the wiener dog jumps up on the bar and
walks down the bar and gives everyone a high five.

The bartender says, "Hey, that's cool! What does he do for a
touchdown?"

The guys answers,



"I don't know, I've only had him for 3 years

That's great!

2 devout elderly baseball fans (Joe and Moe) were watching their favorite team when Joe suddenly died.
His friend Moe was miserable without his lifelong pal when as if on cue, the deceased fan appeared before his friend.
"Moe, heaven is great!!" "They have baseball here And I'm on the team"
"That's wonderful" exclaimed Moe!!
"But it's a good news-bad news kind of thing" said Joe
"Howe's that?" asked Moe
"Well, the good news is that I'm the starting catcher" Joe exclaimed
"So...what's the bad news?" asked Moe

Joe paused and then whispered, "You're pitching Thursday"!!

Mommy & "Uncle" Frank

It's Saturday morning and Bob's just about to set off on a round of golf, when he realizes that he forgot to tell his wife that the guy who fixes the washing machine is coming around at noon. So Bob heads back to the clubhouse and phones home.

"Hello?" says a little girl's voice.

"Hi, honey, it's Daddy," says Bob. "Is Mommy near the phone?"

"No, Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Frank."

After a brief pause, Bob says, "But you haven't got an Uncle Frank, honey!"

"Yes, I do, and he's upstairs in the bedroom with Mommy!"

"Okay, then. Here's what I want you do. Put down the phone, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door and shout in to Mommy and Uncle Frank that my car's just pulled up outside the house."

"Okay, Daddy!" A few minutes later, the little girl comes back to the phone. "Well, I did what you said, Daddy."

"And what happened?"

"Well, Mommy jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming, then she tripped over the rug and went out the front window and now she's all dead."

"Oh, my God! What about Uncle Frank?"

"He jumped out of bed with no clothes on too, and he was all scared and he jumped out the back window into the swimming pool. But he must have forgot that last week you took out all the water to clean it, so he hit the bottom of the swimming pool and now he's dead too."

There is a long pause.

"Swimming pool? Is this 555-7039?"