A Parents Night Before Christmas

'Twas the night before Christmas when all through the house
I searched for the tools to hand to my spouse.
Instructions were studied and we were inspired,
In hopes we could manage "Some Assembly Required."
The children were quiet (not asleep) in their beds,
While Dad and I faced the evening with dread:
A kitchen, two bikes, Barbie's town house to boot!
And, thanks to Grandpa, a train with a toot!

We opened the boxes, my heart skipped a beat....
Let no parts be missing or parts incomplete!
Too late for last-minute returns or replacement;
If we can't get it right, it goes in the basement!

When what to my worrying eyes should appear,
But 50 sheets of directions, concise, but not clear,
With each part numbered and every slot named,
So if we failed, only we could be blamed.

More rapid than eagles the parts then fell out,
All over the carpet they were scattered about.
"Now bolt it! Now twist it! Attach it right there!
Slide on the seats, and staple the stair!
Hammer the shelves, and nail to the stand."
"Honey," said hubby, "you just glued my hand."

And then in a twinkling, I knew for a fact
That all the toy dealers had indeed made a pact
To keep parents busy all Christmas Eve night
With "assembly required" till morning's first light.

We spoke not a word, but kept bent at our work,
Till our eyes, they went bleary; our fingers all hurt.
The coffee went cold and the night, it wore thin
Before we attached the last rod and last pin.

Then laying the tools away in the chest,
We fell into bed for a well-deserved rest.
But I said to my husband just before I passed out,
"This will be the best Christmas, without any doubt.

Tomorrow we'll cheer, let the holiday ring,
And not have to run to the store for a thing!
We did it! We did it! The toys are all set
For the perfect, most perfect, Christmas, I bet!"

Then off to dreamland and sweet repose I gratefully went,
Though I suppose there's something to say for those self-deluded...
I'd forgotten that batteries are never included!


omg this is sooooooooo true

My parents don't assemble anything for me anymore

I liked being a little kid and the tree looked so much different when I woke up than it did when I went to bed.

Now all we get that's different is our stockings hanging above the fireplace. There's a bunch of junk thrown in there but that's about it. I don't even get gifts anymore. I'll be my stocking has a wallet with a bunch of money in it like it does every year. Sure, I'll be richer tomorrow but where's the fun in that?

I miss being a little kid

MY parents never assembled anything christmas eve. They gave us the box and a few days later we would set it up. Of course this christmas eve, we went to a party, got home a few minutes ago, and now my parents are downstairs playing bowiling on our wii...

A parents Christmas Eve:

Invite the boyfriend and a husband and wife over (not married to each other, but rather separate people). Sneak off to the hotel downtown and spend the night (parent and boyfriend in one room and couple cheating on their respective spouses in the other).

Children wake up Christmas morning to find the empty stockings hung above the fireplace and no parents in sight instructed to call said parent and wait for her to return and fill stockings up.

Oh wait, that's my Christmas!

tigersgirl wrote:

MY parents never assembled anything christmas eve. They gave us the box and a few days later we would set it up. Of course this christmas eve, we went to a party, got home a few minutes ago, and now my parents are downstairs playing bowiling on our wii...

Don't you know, parents buy their older kids stuff they want for themselves, but are to embarrassed to admit it. Hopefully they will get bored and you can then use YOUR gift!

lol. yah i know!! Last night my dad eventually passed out on the couch so I ended up playing all night because I don't sleep anyway (insomnia sucks). So then today everyone got to our house for christmas and we ended up playing for much of the day.