A Woman's response:1. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
(I wish the guys I knew were like this! I could not get them to shut up!)2. Movie nudity is virtually always female.
( Thank God, who wants to see some men's flabby bodies anyway... but with others, I feel equal rights are in order!)3. You know stuff about tanks.
(So do I, wish I had one to get back at some men)4. A five day vacation requires only one suitcase.
(And they wonder why ladies don't want near them by the 3rd day!)5. Monday Nite Football.
(Thank God, it keeps them busy and shuts them up)6. You don't have to monitor your friends sex lives.
(That's a lie, men are big gossips on how great they are, even if they are rotten lovers!)7. Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter.
(Now if we could get them to hit the target without making a mess)8. You can open all your own jars.
(But they do not know what to do with the jars' ingredients once open, they expect the women to finish the job!)9. Old friends don't give you crap if you've lost or gained weight.
(But they sure are thinking about it quietly)10. Dry cleaners and haircutter's don't rob you blind.
(You want to bet on that one)11. When clicking through the channel, you don't have to stall on every shot of someone crying.
(No, you stop on every channel, to make sure you don't miss something) 12. Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.
(But you make it your factor when you are the interviewer of women!)13. All your orgasms are real.
(If you can have one, Viagra... need I say more)14. A beer gut does not make you invisible to the opposite sex.
(but it makes us have to fake orgasms!)15. Guys in hockey masks don't attack you.
(No they are the one being attacked, at least they now have more of their real teath than the other guys)16. You don't have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go.
(but you sure have your own stash of useless stuff at home)17. You understand why stripes is funny.
(we understand why your dressing yourself is funny)18. You can go to the bathroom with out a support group.
(we only need support groups to go laugh at you guys) 19. Your last name stays put.
(and you are proud of that? This too is changing)20. You can leave a hotel bed unmade.
(so can we, but this habit just goes with your sloppy nature)21. When your work is criticized, you don't have to panic that everyone secretly hates you.
(until you get fired)22. You can kill your own food.
(Then you are the ones who bring it home for the women to do the dirty work)23. The garage is all yours.
(yea, full of your useless junk you keep, just in case it is needed 50 years from now, then it is out of date!) 24. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
(only because it comes so few and far between)25. You see the humor in Terms of Endearment.
(we see humor when you have terms of endearment)26. Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow.
(no comment needed)27. You never have to clean the toilet.
(And this is a positive thing? you just wait until it quits working and buy a new one)28. You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes.
(And it usually looks that way to everyone)29. Sex means never worrying about your reputation.
(Until you need Viagra)30. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
(but don't worry, you will pay dearly over the years)31. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be you friend.
(but it always makes you wonder why you are so forgettable)32. Your underwear is ?10 for a three pack.
(and you try to make them last two weeks)33. The National College Cheerleading Championship
(does not take much to keep simple minds intertained)34. None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry.
(until they get your promotion) 35. You don't have to shave below your neck. (
in many countries, women don't either. I just wish some men would learn how to shave correctly above the neck (just check some of the facial hair on the baseball players ))
36. You don't have to curl up next to a hairy ass every nite.
(and you think we want to )37. If your 34 and single nobody notices.
(That's what you think!)38. You can write your name in the snow.
(what a great talent to be proud of ) 39. You can get into a nontrivial pissing contest.
(and you are proud of this?) 40. Everything on your face stays its original color.
(until you age!)41. Chocolate is just another snack.
(you poor guys)42. You can be president.
(and prove what a fool you really are)43. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat.
(That's news to me, you are normally sleeping and snoring) 44. Flowers fix everything.
(yea, like the broken stuff in the house that you try to fix, and then we have to hire an expert to put it back together again!)
45. You never have to worry about other people's feelings.
(and then wonder why the divorce rate is so high)46. You get to think about sex 90% of your waking hours.
(Thankfully God corrected that mistake when he created woman!)47. You can wear a white shirt to a water park.
(Yet if yours gets wet, everyone else gets sick looking at flab rolls) 48. Three pair of shoes are more than enough.
(I have seen some men with more shoes than most women!)
49. You can eat a banana in a hardware store.
(and... this is a positive???)50. You can say anything and not worry about what people think.
(In your dreams!)And that is just for the first 50!