Ohio State

Two Ohio State University fans were walking down the street when they came upon a dog lying on the sidewalk licking and cleaning his groin like dogs do.

The first Ohio State fan says to the second, "Boy, I wish I could do that."

The second Ohio State fan replies, "Yeah, me too. But I wouldn't try it."

The first Ohio State fan asks, "Why not?"

The second Ohio State fan replies, "Because I'm afraid the dog might bite me."

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Q: Why do Ohio State University fans keep their diplomas on their dashboards?

Spoiler:

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Did you hear about the power outage at the Ohio State University library?

Forty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours.

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It was reported that Ohio State head football coach Jim Tressel will only be dressing twenty players for the Michigan game. The rest of the players will have to get dressed by themselves.

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Why is ice no longer available at Ohio State football games?

Spoiler:

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A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, “Your first job will be to sweep the store.” But, I’m a OSU graduate,” the young man replied indignantly, “I even played football there!” “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know that,” said the manager. “Here, give me the broom, I better show you how”.

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A Buckeye football player was almost killed today in a tragic horse back riding accident. He fell from the horse and was nearly trampled to death. Luckily, the manager of the Wal-Mart came out and unplugged the horse.

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A little boy and his mother were walking through an Ohio cemetery when they came upon a headstone that read: “Here lies an OSU graduate and a good man.” The little boy asked his mother, “Mommy, why did they bury two people in there?”

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Coaches Jim Tressel and Lloyd Carr are walking down the beach talking about the rivalry between Ohio State and Michigan. As they are walking, Lloyd trips over something in the sand. Upon closer inspection it turns out to be a genie’s lamp. “Who disturbs me?” asked the genie. Jim and Lloyd both say they did. “You will each get one wish,” said the genie. Jim offers to go first. “I want an impenetrable wall built around the entire state of Ohio so that none of those stupid Michiganders can ever get in. I want it as far down into the ground as it is high and I want it to be completely sealed in so that we can finally have our peace!” The genie grants the wish to Jim and his is instantly whisked away to his new paradise. The genie now tells Lloyd he’ll grant him one wish. Lloyd says, “Fill it with water.”

A General was walking through the desert during the Gulf War when he found a lamp on the ground. He picked it up, rubbed, and out came a genie.

The genie said to the General, "I will grant you one wish."

The General replied, "I wish that we will win this war. Here is a map of the desert and all the war parties. Please make us win the war."

The genie responded, "I'm not that powerful of a genie. I cannot grant you that wish."

"Well," the General responds, "then can you have OSU win a bowl game this year?"

The genie thinks for a moment, then says, "Let me see that map again."

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Did you hear about the Buckeye fan who was so upset that the Wolverines beat OSU that he tried to commit suicide by jumping out of his basement window?

eww says my friend

hahaha. very funny catbox.

Harsh language warning:

Spoiler:

Tigers Win!

Ohio State still sucks!

Poor Buckeyes!

Just Kidding! They Suck! Just like Hairston!

OSU should give Hairston an Honorary degree; They go together!

Here's a good joke:

Ohio State

GoGetEmTigers wrote:

Here is another joke, WV sees no problem with WVU giving the governors daughtor a degree without her attending classes! The governor is a BIG financial donor to WVU and the state said no problem as long as they don't make a habit of it!

He is also the one behind WVU suing U of M's new football coach for leaving WVU without allowing him to work on paying them back for leaving 9 months too early. If he waited until next Sept, he did not owe them!

It is bad when a state govnr. thinks he personally owns a state university!

Speaking of Rich Rodriguez I already don't like him. He said he expect Ryan Mallet to transfer and both our Junior WRs to go pro

the spread offense! I want a QB who throws the ball!

GoGetEmTigers wrote:

He is not my favorite person as a coach, he played WVU to get a bigger income, then left before the guarenteed stay date he contracted with them. But U of M must have wanted him bad enough to get him to break his contract and they knew he was bringing his spread offense with him. If teams want to know how to beat it, just ask Levitt at the U of South Fla. They beat it two out of three years, as did Pitt, who South Fla also beat.

Want to beat the spread offense? Watch any NFL game. Notice how that doesn't work there. Everyone wants to be the next Michael Vick (minus the slaughtering of innocent animals...I hope!) but why? He's terrible!

Last year (2006) Vick ran for 1,000+ yards (1,039 to be exact) but he only passed for 2,474 yards. They act like this was one of the greatest seasons ever by a QB but think about it.

What's the point of an offense? TO MOVE THE BALL FOR LOTS OF YARDS! So, Vick threw for 2,474 and ran for 1,039 - that's 3,513 total yards. Big deal! There were 8 QBs who THREW for more than 3,513 yards and if you include rushing yards you'll get some more.

I say give him a chance; If he leads U of M to victory over the Buckeyes and a BCS, this will be all forgotten.

catbox_9 wrote:

Coaches Jim Tressel and Lloyd Carr are walking down the beach talking about the rivalry between Ohio State and Michigan. As they are walking, Lloyd trips over something in the sand. Upon closer inspection it turns out to be a genie’s lamp. “Who disturbs me?” asked the genie. Jim and Lloyd both say they did. “You will each get one wish,” said the genie. Jim offers to go first. “I want an impenetrable wall built around the entire state of Ohio so that none of those stupid Michiganders can ever get in. I want it as far down into the ground as it is high and I want it to be completely sealed in so that we can finally have our peace!” The genie grants the wish to Jim and his is instantly whisked away to his new paradise. The genie now tells Lloyd he’ll grant him one wish. Lloyd says, “Fill it with water.”

Ha ha. That one is my favorite!

Ohios#1TigerFan wrote:

Ahhh...you guys are just jealous we beat you yet again. It's ok though....I don't take it personally! lol

Btw...where did the Wolverines finish in the BCS standings? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

How did you do in your Bowl Game?

Well...I personally didn't play....so......I guess I didn't do so hot.

catbox_9 wrote:

SoulRat wrote:

Ohios#1TigerFan wrote:

INNAPROPRIATE CONTENT WARNING!

Spoiler:

that's not all that funny

I know I didn't laugh. When I saw that I had to put that warning up - there's youngsters that could be reading this.

well i found these all very funny, maybe cuz i live in ohio and our college can actually win...

One day in an elementary school in Ann Arbor Michigan, a teacher asks her class if the Michigan Wolverines are their favorite football team. The whole class says yes except for Little Jimmy.

The teacher asks, "What's your favorite football team Jimmy?"

Little Jimmy says, "The Ohio State Buckeyes."

The teacher asks, "Well, why is that?"

Little Jimmy says, "Well, my dad is a Buckeye fan, my mom is a Buckeye fan, I guess that makes me a Buckeye fan."

The teacher angered by his reply says, "If your dad was a moron and your mom was an idiot what would that make you?"

Little Jimmy says, "Well, I guess that would make me a Michigan fan."


One foggy night, a Buckeye fan was heading north from Columbus and a Michigan fan was driving south from Ann Arbor. While crossing a narrow bridge, they hit each other head-on, mangling both cars.

The Michigan fan manages to climb out of his car and survey the damage. He looks at his twisted car and says, "Man, I'm lucky to be alive!"

Likewise, the Buckeye fan gets out of his car uninjured, he too feeling fortunate to have survived.

The Wolverine fan walks over to the Buckeye fan and says, "Hey, man, I think this is a sign that we should put away our petty differences and live as friends instead of being rivals."

The Buckeye fan thinks for a moment and says, "You know, you're absolutely right! We should be friends. In fact, I'm going to see if something else survived the wreck."

The Buckeye fan then pops open his trunk and removes a full, undamaged bottle of Jack Daniel's. He says to the Wolverine, "I think this is another sign--we should toast to our newfound friendship." The Wolverine fan agrees and grabs the bottle. After sucking down half of the bottle, the Wolverine fan hands it back to the Buckeye fan and says, "Your turn!"

The Buckeye fan calmly twists the cap back on the bottle, throws the rest of the bottle over the bridge into the river and says, "Nah, I think I'll just wait for the cops to show up."


Q: Where was O.J. hiding right before the famous white Bronco chase?

A: On the University of Michigan campus. That's the last place you would find a football player


Q: Why do University of Michigan fans keep their diplomas on their dashboards?

A: So they can park in handicap spaces


General Schwarzkopf was walking through the desert during the Gulf War when he found a lamp on the ground. He picked it up, rubbed, and out came a genie.

The genie said to the General, "I will grant you one wish." The General replied, "I wish that we will win this war. Here is a map of the desert and all the war parties. Please make us win the war."

The genie responded, "I'm not that powerful of a genie. I cannot grant you that wish."

"Well," the General responds, "then can you have University of Michigan win a bowl game this year?"

After a moment, the genie says, "Let me see that map again."


Ann Arbor News Report: Football practice in Ann Arbor was delayed on Monday for nearly two hours. One of the offensive players, while on his way to the locker room, happened to look down and notice a suspicious looking, unknown, white powdery substance on the practice field.

The head coach, Lloyd Carr, immediately suspended practice while the FBI was called in to investigate. After a complete field analysis, the FBI determined that the white substance unknown to the players was the goal line.

Practice was resumed when the FBI decided that the team would not be likely to encounter the substance again.


Q: Did you hear about the power outage at the University of Michigan library?

A: Forty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours.

Those are absolutely GREAT gdennis!

Not really a joke per se, but...

Famous Alumni:
Jeffrey Dahmer

GO