You know you are Irish when...

The condensation on your pint of Guinness takes the shape of shamrocks

You don't believe there is a God, but you are damn sure of the infallibility of the Pope.

You believe that to forgive is divine, but you don't exercise it yourself.

When in a bar, you NEVER let the truth get in the way of a good story.

You won't eat meat on Friday, but you'll drink a pint for breakfast.

You consider any Irishman who has become successful a traitor.

You have great respect for the truth, and you only use it in emergencies.

The further you get from Ireland, the more Irish you get.

You eat homefried taters for breakfast, potato bread for lunch, and potato stew for dinner.

You cry at sad movies, but you cheer in battle.

You will never play professional basketball.

You swear very well.

You 'think' you sing very well. Especially in the bar.

There isn't a huge difference between losing your temper and killing someone.

You're strangely poetic after a few beers.

Many of your sisters are Catherine, Elizabeth or Mary and one is Mary Catherine Elizabeth.

You can't wait for the other guy to stop talking so you can start talking.

Much of your food is boiled.

You are, or know someone, named "Murph." If you don't know Murph, then you know Mac. If you don't know Murph or Mac, then you know Sully, and you'll probably also know Sully McMurphy.

Your parents were on a first name basis with everyone at the local emergency room.

There wasn't a huge difference between your last wake and your last keg party.

All of your siblings were conceived when your parents were drunk.

You're proud to be Irish - and you pass these jokes on to all your Irish friends!

I'm part Irish!

Hey, me too!